A cloud of reminiscence fills the room, and my imagination swims back into a past that has not yet been forgotten …
*insert cloud*
It was a cloudy day, and I was perched in front of my grandparent’s television; from memory, I was watching cartoons. My grandpa then realised that it had passed 6pm: Time for the news.
The next images were of a reasonably attractive woman with a brown bob, telling us about a helicopter that had been drowned by a giant gold fish’s claw. The fish, much like Godzilla was in the habit of doing, grabbed the helicopter with its giant fin, which was, apparently, able to clutch at heavy flying objects, and smashed it into the cold exterior that was the surface of the ocean.
I then asked my grandpa, “papou, why do we have to watch the news, it’s so boring?” He turned to me, sipped from his cup of Greek coffee, and said, “because, it’s the news.”
BREAKING NEWS: A giant lizard has started shooting a lazer like beam from his eyes at a giant monkey. The victim is alleged to have called the perpetrator’s mother a hamster.
This confused me. That doesn’t answer my question.
“But why do we need to watch the news?” He was irritated, because, I think, he knew that I was bright academically, and so he figured I should just know why the news is important.
“Because we have to know what is happening in the world.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because … because. Well, what if something happened to your parents? You would find out by watching the news.”
At this point, I realised that he didn’t really have an answer for me; he was a very smart man, and I could sense that he’d say anything to shut me up to allow him the pleasure of indulging in this brunette’s perky boobs. And for good reason, news anchors, from my non-research, are usually ex-models. Touche, papou, touche.
As I grew with age, in accordance with the laws of time, I never changed my view. At no stage did I decide that watching the news would be a good idea, and at no stage could anyone convince me to the contrary.
I’m now 24 years old. I have finished a law degree. And I even took a few politics subjects during the process.
I still have no fucking idea why people watch ‘the news.’
And this is why …
If you are acquainted with the principle, what do you care for a myriad instances and applications? To a philosopher all news, as it is called, is gossip, and they who edit and read it are old women over their tea – Henry David Thoreau
What is news, really? It’s a bunch of stories, clipped and hedged from all over the world, fed to us through some form of medium, encouraging us to sit passively and absorb all of its usually malevolent contents.
Oh, but I hear you say, If you aren’t informed with what is happening around the globe, you’re ignorant to life’s issues.
And to that I say, hobblegosh!
What good is it to know about all the atrocities transpiring around the globe? How will I, or anyone else benefit, from knowing what terrible, terrible things – as sold through a news lens – humans, Mother Nature, and giant goldfish’s are capable of committing? If I’m not going to get off my ass and do something about it, what good is it to simply know something for the sake of knowing it?
Especially when you’re already acquainted with the basic precept of the story in some way or another? What good can come from “knowing” that this “bad” stuff still happens?
Yes, yes I am well aware that “bad” things happen. I’m aware that they’re happening everywhere as we speak. Why must I subject myself to this knowledge, skewed knowledge, I might add, on a daily basis, at 6pm, while I drool over leftovers?
And you wanna know what else? What, Rob? Well, this is why I don’t watch television or pay attention to the media, generally.
It’s a roller coaster of a ride that I want no part of …
Yes, let us fight obesity. We’ll use ninjas and those versed in various martial arts.
What does the food industry tell us? You want to eat our superficial, extremely processed food with absolutely no nutritional benefit. Why? Because it will bring you joy. But then, on the other end of the scale, what is the media telling us right now about the food industry and the results of it? There are obesity epidemics becoming widespread all over the world. For the love of hash browns, stop eating bad food (as though food is inherently bad)! How do we solve this? Here’s a fat blasting pill that will do nothing other than increase your heart rate, possibly suppress your appetite and may even cause you a heart attack. Have your cake, and eat it at the same time. Just make sure you eat a lemon afterwards. Detox is key, after all. And drink. Drink. Let the drink be the key salvation to your weekday blues. And let us convince you that drinking Bacardi is the cool thing to do. Oh, and yeah, drugs are bad, Mmmkay!
By keeping informed about the news, by passively being yelled at by various media figures, and by convincing ourselves that these things are “important” we paralyse ourselves into states of stagnation, where our days consist of pointing the finger at the “bad” guy, shouting slurs at inanimate objects, and riding around on our high horses because people are so shit. I never beat up a 70 year old in a dark alley, I’m a saint. People are dying in Palestine because of racial conflict? Oh, well, at least now I know!
And this, my friends, is why I wear odd socks.
What? Why? That doesn’t make sense!
Well, simply put, ‘cause shit’s weird. The news is weird. Humans are weird. I’m out.
Humans-are-curious-creatures. And unfortunately, cats, and the news, often kill our curiosity.
To watch the ‘news’ and not be moved emotionally by its content, seems wrong to me. But to sit there and be grieved over something that I cannot do anything about, feels self abusive. So I too don’t watch the ‘news’… and because the concept of the ‘news’ angers me so much – I wrote an aphorism about it, because that is how I deal with my disturbed and disturbing thoughts. ‘What is the ‘News’, but an edited preconception.’
To me, the fact that we are so emotionally moved by its content is wrong. Or, not really. It just serves to prove how skewed the facts are given to us, using fear, guilt and coercion in hope that we’ll feel a certain way. And the most disturbing part is that it’s intentional. Not to fuel or feed into propaganda, I don’t think, though it may be the case, but rather, to boost ratings. It’s a side effect of capitalism: nothing is left alone.
I always love your aphoristic approaches to life’s problems. I may have to start quoting you in some of my articles.
Yep, fear sells.
And just to add to their own discredit, they now report on Celebrities.
I would feel privileged to be quoted by you – I love, and so far agree with, your point of view. Thanks Rob.
This is definitely a conversation I wish that more people were having. I feel like the news has given away pretty much all of it’s legitimacy. Standards for journalism seem pretty much stuck at rock bottom and I can’t recall the last time a news program didn’t have some feature that tied in product placement.
We’re wasting our collective time with something masquerading as important.
This was a solid piece that achieved “nothing but net” status. Especially with the more sensational and trivial news has got. War is news. Political events are news. But networks spend very little time on that. I watched an episode of Good Morning America a year ago and half of the show was dedicated to a LMFAO concert. It seems like, as a culture, we’ve gotten to this weird point where we sort of just collectively go with whatever is plastered the most places– and the news is a big part of that.
I’m tired of having conversations with people about the ever changing status of healthy eating or what violent crime they heard about on the news. It’s never a real conversation.
“Did you hear about that shooting? It’s totally crazy, right?”
Nobody ever talks about why the shootings happen or the value of human life or what could be done about it or what could drive a person to do it or why you’re doing nothing to fix it or improve the world at that very moment. You just sort of announce that you remain up to speed on what the media has been presenting and go ahead with the rest of your day.
As a general rule, I don’t tink that there’s much of a line drawn between the news and the media. It’s been blurred into one big ball of capitalism. Though, even the ‘real news,’ I have no interest in. Unless it’s based on scientific discoveries that will further my own brain, in some abstracted, intellectual sorta way, then I have no interest in it.
Unless, as you said, we speak of why the shooting happened, the drivers underlying these behaviours, why wars start … and not just bullshit answers like religion, power, oil, money. We spend so much time talking about the surface effects and then about bandaid solutions, instead of really unraveling what’s going on. Which, I think, starts with the human psyche. Is not this the place where all “news” or “problems” start? I’ve always seemed to think so. Glad to know I’m not alone. Thanks.
Never a problem.
you’re a silly human
currently, my left sock is blue with zebra stripes.
AND THE OTHER ONE IS GREEN!!!
I also hate the idiot box.
MUCHLOVE
A silly human is correct. And sweet sock combo. I may, one day, have to steal it. That is, the combo, your actual socks. And thanks, much love right backatchya.
News paralyzes us into fear. No good can come from it. It replays over and over and over again all the evil and horror of the world. Why watch it? We know “the bad” is there, yes, but to saturate our brains with it day in and day out is useless. It is no longer pure because it’s “fact content” has been twisted by those that deliver it to us…to get the best paranoid effect on our psyche.
You are correct! News is pure tainted gossip.
I have one thing to say : You are exactly like me!!! We have a lot in common! I mean, I have the same thoughts about all these rules that society makes and forces us to follow them without question! I think most of the things you do. Can’t wait for another post! This post is the one I liked the most out of three I read. I’m gonna share it, if you don’t mind!
