Everybody gets a little bit sad sometimes. Hell, I got a little sad yesterday when 7-11 had run out of the Cola flavoured slurpee.
Granted, I wasn’t really that upset when I found out that the coke machine was broken; perhaps it’d be better to say that a flicker of disappointment fluttered through my veins. And the sadness (disappointment) evaporated just as quickly as it came.
And that’s the thing about sadness: it’s transient.
Sadness comes and goes, much like states of the weather. If you wake up one morning to find that your loved one has left you, in varying degrees, typically, we’d feel a little bit sad. When someone you love dies, sadness will – if you are, that is, accustomed to the collective consciousness comprising our culture – inevitably ensue. If it rains on a day that you’d planned to spend at a music festival that you’ve paid good money for, sadness may, perhaps, trickle down your spine.
And just like the phenomenon that I experienced yesterday when the coke machine was broken; once the event making you sad has come and gone, the sadness, like everything else, evaporates into a near past.
Depression doesn’t work like that.
First off, depression doesn’t need a reason to lead a person to feel, what we’d conventionally call “sadness.”
Depression can strike a person when everything is seemingly “perfect,” in the said person’s life. It’s only prompt is a chemically imbalanced navel, through which any hints of logic, reason, or rationality, are slayed by broken synaptic connections.
Further, and aside from the above point, this means that, where a person, a non-depresso, would typically experience a pang of sadness, recover, and then move on, contrarily, a person who experiences something more akin to depression will continue to feel “sad,” for an indeterminable period of time. The death of a loved one, for instance, could catalyst a depressive disposition into months, even years, of morbid sorrow.
So does that mean that the difference between sadness and depression can be found in a) the duration a person experiences “sadness;” and b) whether or not the “sadness” has an actual, tangible, “normal” cause?
If only it were that easy.
The first issue with this painstakingly obtuse distinction is this: depression and sadness are very different emotions.
I’m no expert on the matter, and I’ve never really thought to articulate this division hitherto. But if I were to attempt to impregnate this differentiation with words, I’d say this: Depression resembles more of a will for non-existence, a yearning for nothingness, an extinguished flame for life, a deflated version of reality – or somewhere in between, or a combination of all the above; whereas sadness resembles more a feeling of disappointment, a sense of loss, a temporary abolition of hope, a state of grievance – or somewhere in between, or a combination of the above.
This distinction, however, is too, very vague.
For one, it doesn’t at all deal with the extent to which a person experiences these feelings/emotions/states of being.
I personally think that most people on this earth are suffering from a mild case of depression on a daily basis. From a young lad, when I looked into people’s eyes, mainly adults, I always wanted to know what was wrong, cause there seemed to be something wrong. Then, as I got older, I came to the flaccid conclusion that as a collective body, composed of many individuals, we are far less “happy” and “joyful” than we present ourselves to be, mainly, I think, because in some strange, subconscious way, we feel that this is how we should act; with an air of indifferent jolliness; much like we feel a pressure to be thin, or beautiful (as per Hollywood standards), or smart, or humble, or whatever else. And I also deduced from my flaccid conclusion, that, for the most part, if you asked someone whether they were “content” or “happy” – or whatever other adjective you’d want to use to describe feelings of so-called “positivity” – with their lives, they’d probably answer yes, either because they don’t want to reveal to you the truth, or because they’ve not yet even realised the state of their perpetual humdrumness. Not sad, but not happy, either; which is a state resembling closely some sort of depression, if you think about it.
But that’s just me being delusional.
Anyway, the difference wedged in between sadness and depression is a peculiarly subtle one, and I’m not so sure that it can be so easily outlined. While I’m sure that it is certainly there to draw, words often fail to slice this distinction perspicuously.
I’d love to hear what you guys think, and how you see it?
Humans-are-funny-creatures. And we’ve a penchant driver to label everything, including tricky emotions.



Reblogged this on knocked over by a feather and commented:
Just had to share this, thought it was awesome.
Well thank ye. That be very kind.
You be welcome.
Like always – a great quality post Rob. I love reading your balanced thoughts!
For me sadness visits; I don’t worry about it anymore – I’ve come to the conclusion, or delusion perhaps, that it is a body memory – something that was supposed to be felt in my past, but didn’t. (I used to be really strong – no one could hurt me; yah, I know…)
Depression has visited too. I once spent three days taking notes from the television – and I HATE television. Or maybe that was just craziness. Any way, I’ve spent time in deep black holes before. But I’ve also had that moment, where I’ve been aware that depression would serve me really well right now – I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. No work. No housework. Nothing. No people. No caring. Nothing. So anyway – I’m just thinking, sometimes; probably hardly ever – why depression could work. Press it down, shelve it. Rest. Actually, it probably doesn’t work as well if you are aware of depressing as an action, rather than a passive happening, like, depression.
Once again, I just try to see it as something that serves me – I hate being a victim.
So I leave your blog space, once again, knowing me a little bit better. Ta.
And like always, thank you very much! Your kind words mean more than you’d know.
And yeah, it’s weird that whole “accepting your depression/sadness” idea; as though it’s some form of self-preserving delusion. I don’t know, maybe it is, but from what I’ve learnt to believe, there’s a lot of logic to it.
People usually get weirded out (scared, maybe?) when I tell them that my most major depressive episodes were the best periods of my life. Obviously, at the time they’re hell. But if you learn to utilise your sadness, it’s like reading a really, really good book of fiction, which has a lot to teach you. And yeah, being a victim sucks. haha.
For sure! I wouldn’t write aphorisms, or have a desire to paint, if I didn’t tour these dark places.
I like that ‘… really good book of fiction, which has a lot to teach …’
Let me start by saying that I have not experienced depression; but my husband experiences it often ever since he had his brain surgery in 2007. Sadness responds to reason and logical thought- depression does not. When our brain chemicals are working nicely, I think we have a need to feel good. We bounce back because we talk ourselves into it. Because sadness is draining. A small argument is easy for me to move forward from, but my husband cannot do that. It turns into self-loathing that eats away at him. I can’t stay in that place with him, my brain won’t let me. Meanwhile, his brain won’t let him escape it. It’s as if the usual coping skills we take for granted have just lost all effectiveness. I did feel quite drained by sadness while my sister was sick and dying, but even then it came in waves. My brain insisted on breaks of normalcy and happy thoughts now and then to keep me sane. I now know that not everyone’s brain gives them a break from sadness when they need it. I cannot imagine making it through something like that without a break from my worst thoughts. Sadness and depression are very different, indeed. Nice post.
“not everyone’s brain gives them a break from sadness when they need it,” couldn’t have said it better.
The only thing that I’m not completely sold on is whether or not even sadness stems from logic, or reasoning? If you end an abusive (or even just shitty) relationship, you’ll probably get sad … but it’s not logical to. I’ve never actually considered exactly what sort of usefulness sadness can serve. Maybe to make us more empathetic and so more relatable to people? Maybe it’s merely a western invention that we’ve concocted to describe feelings of loss, and then taken too far?
It’s interesting to find out how other cultures view things like death, or injury, or general loss. There’s a tribe in Brazil that celebrate death; the idea of getting sad because someone they love died is totally alien to them. Not because they hold supernatural beliefs – they are atually one of the few known tribes in the world that hold no supernatural beliefs whatsoever – it’s merely because, well, that’s how they’re conditioned.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN????????
Arghghhghghghghghghhghgh.
You are forgetting that our brains form attachments. It isn’t romantic, but a lot of our sadness from losing someone is simply a result of our brains being “addicted” to that person. They are part of our routine. Our thoughts are routed to those around us all day long. Think about someone you once loved, but have not seen in years. Their death would be sad (maybe even in a logical way), but you would not suffer with sadness the way you do when someone who is actively in your life is ripped away. Time heals because our brains form new attachments. How do you feel about that?
Yeah I completely agree. That’s where, I think, the main cause of grievance stems; our attachment to the idea of someone, and an unfavourable change in that idea. Though, I don’t know if it’s got anything to do with logic? Often, at least from the cases I’ve thought of/experienced, the attachment is irrational/illogical. Of course there are cases where this sort of attachment is logical, in that it can help us to survive; though, for the most part, I’d be inclined to say that, and especially given our hyper-technological way of life, these attachments are unhealthy “addictions,” above all else.
Though, like I said, it would be super interesting to spend time with people – or to spend time in a culture – where this addictive sort of attachment isn’t so strong or all consuming. To me, it brings up the, ‘what came first, the chicken or the egg?’ question: does psychology precede genetics, or do genetics precede psychology? Or are they too linked to separate? That question has driven me nuts for many years.
I tend to agree with this… I personally define depression as a state of feeling nothing… not sadness, not happiness, not anything just void… a state of being shut off… when one knows they “should” be feeling a certain way but don’t/can’t…. IDK that’s just me….
The cafe I usually work at has rekindled its wifi connection, and so now, I can’t get off the blog, and am struggling to write on what I”m writing on. Gah.
Yeah, just void is a good. Just a good. Blah. Umm, a void that can often fill up with the souls of spirits that are trying to take you into the land of the dead. Imagine if that were true? haha. But yeah, an empty, black, bleak void of nothing about sums it up.
For me: Sadness is truth. You know when you’re sad. You feel it. You sit with it and wait for it to pass. Sadness is truth.
Depression is the liar. You don’t have to be sad to be depressed. In fact, sometimes you can think you’re happy. You can feel nothing; feel well and healed and whole. Until you don’t. Depression lingers in the darkness, pouncing sometimes – showings its ugly head – but depression likes the hide, because it loves the part where it gets to creep up suddenly and remind you of its presence.
I would take sadness any day.
Great topic (again).
Thanks, loons.
And yeah, isn’t it just the biggest cuntbag? Even when you know it’s coming, even if you can feel it near on the horizon, because it’s so skilled at lurking in the shadows, it’ll pounce on you and it won’t ever miss.
Reblogged this on Hello from me to you.
Well thanks!
Reblogged this on pheonixwings2 and commented:
INteresting veiw that must be shared.
Tank you!
Reblogged, worth sharing.
People learn once they climb out of diapers and into big people clothes to hide behind the mask of happiness. As we grow older we are disillusioned in the magic of life as we are forced to face “reality” and shoulder the responsibilities of adult hood… personally, I feel this is the root of the mild depression that every adult you ever meet.
Being and adult sucks, I’d rather be delusional … don’t you?
I’ll leave you with this quote:
“Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
Both sadness and depression are internal states. IMO if one does not fight them, they just are what they are and are no big or small deal.
But not everyone has that level of mastery to just let a thing be what it is while it s there and for that person who is battling with or resisting either of these internal states, I do not know what they should do or not do.
I enjoy your topics.