It’s difficult dealing with a crazy person. Trust me, I know – I’ve spent the past 24 years dealing with one – me!
And so, to make it a little easier for you, non-crazy-depressos, here are a few pointers that may aid you in your interactions with the crazy’s you love and care about.
Lesson 1: Thoughts of suicide aren’t a big deal for us
My first thoughts of suicide came when I was ten years old. I’m now twenty four.
There was a stage in my life where suicide was all that I could think of. For two years straight, it consumed my mind.
When I found out that not everybody went through long, rather travailing stages of feeling in this way, I was genuinely surprised.
Point of the story: if a friend/family member/co-worker/person you generally know tells you about dealing with thoughts of suicide, to them, there’s a chance it’s not a huge issue in their mind.
So try not to make such a big issue of it yourself. And especially avoid saying things like: “wow, that’s really fucked up.” Because yeah, we know that; but to us, it’s no more fucked up than eating a Dorito; it’s simply a part of life.
Reacting so hastily may disincline that person to speak to you again, which they might very well need to do in the future.
Lesson 2: Listen more, speak less
There’s nothing more annoying than people – loved ones – offering a helping hand, or an open ear, to aid you in dealing with your turmoil, when what they really mean is: “You really should …”
If someone’s come to you about his or her grievances, and if that person has really opened up to you, try to avoid giving advice.
We crazy’s know our options. And often, we don’t like being told what to do. Again, this will disincline us to open up to you in the future.
Just listen to what we have to say. And engage us; pretend we’re “normal.”
Lesson 3: Don’t offer to “be there” if you can’t
For the most part, crazy’s know that they are a little bit “special,” and a little bit odd.
This means that, on some level, however remote, we know that it must occasionally be difficult for the non-crazy’s to put up with our crazy.
So, avoid saying things like:
“If you ever need to talk, please, don’t be afraid to call me,” If, indeed, you would be afraid to answer our calls.
Empty gestures do not sit well with depressive sort of crazies. In loose fact, empty gestures are what have, in part, developed our crazy more thoroughly.
If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the crazy kitchen – we will respect you for it.
Lesson 4: Please, for the love of Nietzsche, refrain from saying, “you should really see someone, you know?”
Our culture is obsessed with quick and easy bandaid solutions.
If you’re a nutter, it’s naturally expected that you will see a psychologist, or dope yourself up so high that you reach a stage where you confuse clouds for Zeus’s beard.
However, and as much as we know you care, your advice is irritating.
In some cases, psychologists can help. That is very true. But for crazy’s that have dealt with their crazy for many, many years, and who have learnt to deal with it in their own way, and who know their “problems” are indeed, and in fact, all in their head, it’s ever so annoying to be told to see a psychologist because a friend/family member/general loved one, has, out of the bluest of voids, all of a sudden developed a compulsion to care.
Further, when you bring up the P word, there’s a chance we’ll label you as people who want to “fix” us. A psychologist is there to train your thinking. Depression, for the most part, has very little to do with thinking, and much more to do with feeling. And when you raise the P word, we can tend to feel a little repulsed by you.
However, if you are inclined to travel down this road, pro tip: instead of asserting that we “see someone,” say: “if you ever wanted to see someone, I’ll be here for you.”
Lesson 5: We probably think that you’re crazier than we are
At the very bottom of most depressed people’s hearts, is the idea that this is a crazy, messed up world. You, the normal person, are then, in our minds, nuttier than we are, on account of your having not realised how nutty you, in imagined fact, already are.
We’re all a little nuts. So be thankful that we’re sharing our slice of nuttiness with you.
You may just learn something from it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not represent all depressive-crazies. Each depressive crazy is unique and will inevitably have his or her own views. This is a guide to merely bare in mind. Also, this is a how-to-guide specifically for the people dealing with crazies; my advice to the actual crazies would be very different. Batteries also not included.
Humans-are-all-crazy. It’s just a matter of degree.