I’ve written a post on this already, but, and in spite of sounding like a broken record, I’m going to write another. (Oh, and this one’s loosely related).

And the reason is because recently, I’ve read so many people complaining about how someone has offended them, with their general words.

I’ve been reading a lot of bloggers / Facebookers / news broadcasters / religious zealots, and even politicians, talking about how “offended” they are, have been, or will be, by the words spoken, or written, by others.

And I can’t, not for the life of me, fathom why!

Listen to me, reader; you, yeah you, are a dirty ass-bag. Your life is more worthless than a grain of sand; your farts smell as odious as the scent that wafts from the testicles of an overly sweaty horse, and your taste in music is more repulsive than Hitler’s taste in utopias.

Okay, so, reader, dear reader, I – I think obviously – didn’t mean the above statement. I don’t know you personally, and for all that I do know, your farts could smell lovely. But let me ask you a question?

Did you take offense to anything in that last (the one before the last) paragraph?

Cause, first of all, I called you an ass-bag. No, not a very tactful insult, but hey, it was aimed directly at you, ass-bag. Second, I told you that your life was less important than a grain of sand. Offensive? Sure, I’m “denigrating” the sanctity of, not just abortion, but your own, personal life. BE OFFENDED! Third, I claimed that your farts smell real bad. Don’t ask me why or how I know exactly what horse testicles smell like, I have my reasons. But trust me, implying that your farts smell similarly is a big dig. And lastly, you’ve, apparently, a terrible taste in music. And bringing Hitler into the equation? Common! HAW, not cool man, not cool; show some class for fuck’s sake.

Now, here’s the thing. I don’t know you. My posts, although may touch on subjects that are related to ideas, maudlin beliefs or whatever else, that you cherish, they are not directed at you! They are general, subjectively woven words that are true for me, and for me only. And just like this blog is representative of my own opinions, rants, and systems of thought, so goes the same for others blogs, articles, words, generally; in whatever capacity their thoughts / communications are being expressed.

You see; nothing, and I repeat, nothing, should be preserved in the “must not make jokes of / poke fun at / discuss openly or critically analysed” pile.

I can understand how say, for instance, if you’re religious, and someone makes a joke about your “saviour,” your blood might start to boil upon hearing / reading about this blasphemy. Or, if you’re an environmentalist, and you hear people emphatically asserting that global warming is a sort of liberal propaganda, I get how the hairs on the back of your neck might raise in preparation for battle. Or, if you’re a stringent, non-under-arm shaver, aka a feminist, and you hear a colleague mention how, ‘the only reason Susan got the promotion is because of her gigantic bazookas,’ how your left eye might nervously twitch. However, and with all due respect, chill the fuck out.

The phrase(s):

“I’m quite offended by that”

“That’s offensive”

“I find that offensive”

“You’re offending me” etc

Don’t mean a damned thing!

They should be banished from our speech, extradited to the remotest parts of our thesauruses, never to see the light of day again.

The only modern-day intellectual that I know of whom I've time for.

The only modern-day intellectual that I know of whom I’ve time for.

We live in such a highly manufactured PC world, where we are all, that is to say, all of us who desire to live by the standards set by the norm (the 9-5 workin, weekend reverin, beer chuggin, sweet tooth indulgin, consumers) are so scared of placing a foot out of place, that we choose instead not to walk, and to stay home.

I had a dream. I mean, “I had a dream” – MLK. That comment was made by a man who offended a fuck tone of people. Without offending people, we stagnate. We fester in our predated belief systems, rot in our dung filled crap dens, and disallow new light from shining through. Sure, here exactly is where we run the risk of opening doors for people prone to petty attacks to run wild. But all that those people are doing is exposing their own inner hatred, self loathing, ignorance, arrogance, or whatever. Something like that. It doesn’t matter.

If someone offends you personally, they’re an ass twat. If they’ve offended you generally, you’re an ass twat.

The single, and in my opinion – only – real positive that is born through our democratic systems, is our ability to speak freely and openly about all matters. “If you’re in favour of freedom of speech, that means you’re in favour of freedom of speech precisely for views you despise.” (Noam Chomsky). Without this freedom, how can we call ourselves free?

Bottom line: you don’t have a “right” (I dislike the term, “rights,” as it is also, in general, devoid of value) to not be offended.

In its stead, I’ve a proposition.

Next time someone excites the curdles in your tum-tum, instead of talking about how offended you are, which isn’t at all interesting, why not have an open discussion about exactly why you’re now suddenly feeling a little bit gassy? Expose your feelings. Let them breathe. Give them air. Let them be criticised. Let them be brought to light. Let them grow out of their own selves, and into more resilient ones.

Let the expression, “I’m offended” be banished from your vocabulary, to be replaced with something more constructive.

Humans-are-weird. And they think they have rights for fucking everything.

About these ads