I generally dislike reading articles on the internet.
It hurts my eyes. I’m easily distracted. Oh look, a bottle of JD and a clean glass. Umm, what was I saying. Oh yeah, so, I get distracted easily. And also, quite frankly, there’s a lot of rubbish out there.
Amidst the rubbish however, there are a lot of gems. The cyber world is a knowledge landfill. No matter what you’re looking for, you’ll find it in the land of WWW. From cooking recipes to anal bead delivery services – if you’re perusing the sphere of cyber-reality, rest assured, the object of your desire will eventually come to surface.
Me myself, well, I’m looking to get published.
Because I didn’t study creative writing or anything to do with writing, I have no idea how this industry works. I’m learning as I go, and soaking in all that I can, as quickly as possible.
And where do you suppose rests my first point of reference? Yep, you guessed it.
But in my search for a literary agent, I’m growing ever so frustrated.
You see, there is so much fantastic information out there. Truly, there is. I’ve found pretty much all that I need in order to make my mind up in regards to how I should write up a book proposal. But it’s been a laborious journey. Far more so than need be.
You wanna know why? I’ll tell you why.
I mean; I’m really struggling to fathom how bad some people are at web design.
For instance, you don’t need to be a design guru to know that small, dark writing on a dark green background just isn’t going to work.
Why does this even need to be said? Good fucking question. I have no idea who in their right mind would think that dark green writing on a dark background is a good idea. But believe me, people do. And unfortunately, a lot of these people have valuable stuff to share. Tut, tut, weird ones. Tut, tut.
As boring as you might think it to be, black (very dark) writing on a white (very light) background is usually the way to go. Try to use a bigger font, too (if you can). And if you’re going for a dark backdrop, then make sure the writing is easy to read.
I know that most of us are limited by the options offered by our themes. That’s why it’s so important to make the most of the theme you’re using. No need for anything tricksy tracksy, just keep it super simple. Ya hear me, woman!?
Most articles having to do with finding a literary agent are written in a: “how-to” style. At least they should be. No one wants to slug through a dense essay that’s job is to elucidate very certain and specific pointers and guidelines. It’s like trying to find a butt-plug in an elephant’s anoos.
If you’re writing for an online audience, and your intention is to draw a step-by-step sort of guide, don’t do what I’ve done in this post and write it like you would an essay.
Keep shit simple. Use dot points. Use clear, bolded headings. Keep paragraphs short. If your writing is a bit fancy pants, cool, no problem, write one-sentence paragraphs. Just don’t clutter the damned page. It. Hurts. My. Eyes. And. My. Brain.
Not to say that essay writing on blogs or Internet platforms is bad, of course not. Essays have their place (like here, at HAW). But if you’re writing a piece that contains very specific details, then MAKE THOSE DETAILS STAND OUT.
That’s all I’ve got really. I just wanted to rant on this topic for a few minutes to vent my frustrations. Argh, gah, baj-ahh! Why isn’t this stuff self-evident? Waste my fucking time. *Mumbles fade into the broken ether*.
Humans-are-weird. And sifting through information is tedious.