First of all, to avoid any confusion, this post is a complete and utter sham.
I don’t know how you can build your blogging audience. No one does. Anyone that tells you that they do is either delusional, lying, or a delusional liar. There’s no if’s or but’s about it.
The reason I’m writing this post is because I’m a sneak, hairy little fucker who knows that people like reading self-righteous posts entitled: “The Secret to Building Your blog’s Audience.”
Why am I exploiting this rather plain insight into the collective psyche of cyber-humans, you ask? Well, it’s because I want to make a point of saying that no one can tell you how to build your blog’s audience. Not a single person. But what I do have up my sleeve is a small rant about why this is the case.
Let’s think about things reasonably for a second.
If someone really did know “the secret to building your blog’s audience,” would the said person share this information for free? No, is the answer. They wouldn’t. Why? Because we live in a capitalistic world, where anything – including ideas – that has the potential to earn $$$ is bottled up, manufactured, and sold to and through the markets for a hefty price.
Another reason is that any post that uses words like “secret” or “build your blog audience” are obviously employing beguiling hyperbole to trick you into reading their work. Exhibit [A] – this post.
Welcome to Marketing: How to Bullshit People 101.
Does that mean that there aren’t any practical tips or pointers that can help us build our blogging audiences? Certainly not.
Of course there are a few practical pointers to help build your audience. Here, I’ll list them (all) for you:
- Share your work: Social media is key.
- Blog frequently: We’re creatures of habit, get in the habit of blogging. Taking a poo – why not write a post? Done.
- Engage with your blog’s community: If someone writes you a comment, reply to them. When you start getting 50+ comments per post, then you can start using the excuse: “there’s just too many people to reply to.”
- Tag your posts: Hashtags are annoying as fuck, but for blogging, they’re necessary. Let people find you.
- Engage other people’s blogs: If you scratch someone’s back, they’ll scratch yours. If you bear no shame, personally spam people. It works.
- Write well: Don’t be an asshole. Take care of your blog. It represents you. Sloppy work = sloppy worker. Sloppy worker = sloppy.
- Have something to say: If you’re not interested in what you’re writing, why the fuck would anyone else be?
- Use asshole titles like this one: Caught your attention, didn’t it?
- Don’t make an ugly blog: That means this. (Click: “this”)
There you have it. I’ve just surmised all of the tips to do with building your blog audience in less than 200 words. I saved you some time and some money.
But it wasn’t very helpful now, was it?
That’s cause blogging takes a lot of work. And building a blog that has an active blogging community takes a lot of self-promotion. And self-promotion is arse holey – not fun. But hey, if you want to build your blog audience, you’ve to do what you’ve to do.
I’ll say one more thing though. Well, I’ll write one more thing.
I know I said this already, and I know it sounds like something you’d read in a cheaply done self-help book, but personalities – well, excitable, unique, and most importantly, honest personalities – sell. Dah, you say. Sure. I know it’s obvious for some of us. But can you see how tempting it must be to write in a formulaic, this is the standard way to attract people kind of way?
Don’t fall into that trap. Writing in this way is lame, bland, and not going to help you build a boat. I mean, a vast blogging community.
Anyway, I need to pee. That’s my cue to leave.
Adieu. Sayonara. Yasou. Arrivederci. See ya later alligator.
Peace out, peas in.