Alas, Australia has elected its new Prime Minister, its new leader, its new chief regulator.
Its literal and figurative – “Man”.
And the results are, even for me, a guy who thinks of politics as a sort of Cirque Du Soleil, without the monkeys and flying clowns and juggling elephants, horrifying.
And they’re horrifying for exactly two reasons, each of which containing a multifarious web of sub-reasons.
I’ll start of with first, much more obvious reason, which is, of course: Tony Abbot is running Australia.
Now, I don’t know Tony personally. I’ve never met him. I don’t know his now (in)famous daughters. I wasn’t involved in the young liberal group at uni. I have no connection to him whatever.
However, like any other mindlessly observant Australian, I’ve seen snippets of how his mind works filter through the media. I’ve heard him speak, and I’ve read his written words. And boy oh boy are we in trouble.
Let’s not worry about the policies that he’ll allegedly impose upon us. Because for one, I don’t know enough about them, and for two, who in their right state of mind would ever trust a politician?
Instead, let’s look at his personal values. Let’s take a quick peek at how he, Australia’s head honcho, sees the world, generally.
Brace yourselves, my cyber friends.
We Australians know that Mr Prime Minister Abbott’s chief foreign policy is to… Stop The Boats. Mr Abbott is openly not a fan of boat people. His whole campaign is based on this point.
But how has he justified this belief system? Well, it’s because: “Jesus knew that there was a place for everything and it’s not necessarily everyone’s place to come to Australia.”
Praise the lord!
Our Prime Minister truly believes that people fleeing from poverty, from war torn areas of famine and general hardship, should be treated like criminals. He claims that he does not intend to send asylum seekers to any country that has not signed the UN Convention on refugees (http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/4105116.html), but aside from that being completely gobbledygook, it doesn’t mean a damned thing.
The point is that he doesn’t care what happens to these people. Let Jesus deal with ‘em – hey? Screw ‘em. They’re “boat people,” and thus lesser people. Barely people at all.
Obviously Mr Tony Prime Minister Abbot has never listened to our country’s national anthem – Advance Australia Fair: “…For those who’ve come across the seas, we’ve boundless plains to share”.
So much for that idea.
Apparently, he’s somewhat of a masochist as well, having said: “If we’re honest, most of us would accept that a bad boss is a little bit like a bad father or a bad husband. Not withstanding his or her (since when is a husband or a father a her?) faults, you’ll find that he (hmm) tends to do more good than harm”.
How on earth does that logic make the slightest ounce of sense? They’re a “bad” hypothetical father or husband, but they do more good than harm? Sure. Okay. (Apparently he studied at Oxford? Fair ‘nough).
I also wonder what Freud would say about that?
It’s quite obvious that our newly elected PM also values women quite dearly, too. I mean; he was so kind in his explanations of his plans for new taxes, breaking these complex theories down into terms that even a ‘housewife’ could understand, by outlining how the “ironing housewives” of Australia would be affected. Because, n’dah! More electricity consumption equals more moneys and stuffs. Is that right? *flicks hair to the left* What?
Gee whizzus! Thanks, Tony.
According to Tony, a woman’s right to her own uterus will probably also become a hot political topic, too. Cause, of course, abortion is an “objectively grave matter,” that has “been reduced to a question of the mother’s convenience”.
Yep. Jesus was very clear about his views on abortion in the bible. Oh, wait; no he wasn’t. Where’s Tony getting these ideas if not from his main man, Jesus?
Oh yeah, and he believes that climate change is “absolute crap”, despite all the concrete scientific evidence that speaks to the contrary, and that homosexuality is a blasphemous sin, and that he’s a fan of the whole: “don’t ask, don’t tell,” policy in dealing with those homogenised-sexuals.
So yeah. We’ve got slight cause to worry about the sort of person running this country.
But let’s now move on to what I think is even more concerning about the results of this recently determined election.
Something that’s even more concerning than the point that our country is now being led by a homophobic, kinda masochistic misogynist, who bases his foreign policy on the supposed views of a nomadic desert wanderer who existed thousands of years ago.
And that is: That we, Australia, a forward thinking, “multicultural” haven where some of the worlds best universities stand, where some of the worlds best and brightest intellectuals reside, let it happen.
We, the Australian People, 20 million of us, elected the person described above to run our country. We, ones living in a democracy, the country’s fundamental representative, allowed this man to rise to our nation’s proverbial surface, and bequeathed him with the power to rule over our land.
And why? Why did we let this happen?
Because we wanted change.
Because we were sick of the rampant discord in the current government (that wasn’t really doing that bad of a job… I mean, our economy’s pretty alright, isn’t it?) and simply, resolutely, but without any real reason, wanted change.
Let me tell you something, folks, and I’m not being even remotely facetious when I say this; the sole reason that Adolf Hitler was given the chance to rise to power back in the 30′s of Germany was because people wanted change.
Germany’s spirits were waterlogged; a Great Depression gripped the German people. They wanted change. And what happened? A man, a great speaker of beguiling charm and of unbound charisma, promised this change they all so desperately sought.
A man who knew how to use populist themes to inveigle an audience, a man who knew that in order to capture the hearts and imaginations of a group of millions of people, he’d have to use simple, easily digested catchphrases like… “stop the boats”; or, “a new world order”; or, “Heil Fuhrer,” or of course, the most easily digestible catch phrase, the most easily comprehendible slogan: Calculated silence.
Now, I’m not trying to draw a comparison between Abbott and Hitler. That would be stretching things a little. All I’m saying is that the reasons behind why this fellow rose to power are fundamentally similar to the reasons underlying why Hitler rose to power.
Because we, as a collective society wanted change (exactly what sort of change, I have no fucking idea) and were debauched by the inane slogans of someone promising it.
Of course, there’s an ocean of difference between our current situation, and that of Germany’s one all those years back. And that is: Times in Australia aren’t particularly tough. We’re doing just fine.
So what does this say about our society? About the structures governing us? About our media? About the way the common man thinks? About the way in which we interact with each other, and the world around us? About the attention span of Australia’s people?
It says this:
Humans-are-weird. And everything is fucked.